Ladies 2: increasing Amado’s bloodpressure since 8 december 2019. Yes you read it correctly.. this is a story about the day of our coach, Amado.

Sunday morning. After getting Ladies 4 all set, Amado was obligated to drag himself to the next match: LADIES 2 against Nieuw-Woensel!!?A message from Girtje in our team chat already made sure that the hairs on his back were standing up straight: “I hope I’m Just in time, but I had to repair my bike first?”. Amado responded calmly with: “NOW I DONT EVEN HAVE ELEVEN PLAYERS TO START WITH!” Oh well Amado.. viva la vida (or some other spanish quote about life)..

All went well and Girtje even arrived too early at Nieuw-Woensel. #NoStressAmado. After giving his TED-talk, which made it clear that he still holds on to our non-existant capabilities, we got dressed and entered the field. Because we only had eleven players (also; no Lien, so Marloes had to be our goalkeeper) and no substitutes. Our precious Armadillo had to start off as a flagger.

For once in our lives, the match started of smoothly. Diana put pressure in the front and made sure the opponents could not play their game. When Roggel yelled to Diana that even though the ball went out, she was still a goodlooking magic sunflower, the oppenent’s coach responded with “Oh thank you! Thats always nice to hear!”. Just after yelling back “You are so welcome” Roggel found out that their coach is also the boyfriend of their striker… This was fine…

The match continued with some nice one-two’s and deep balls on Riek and Riley. Aaaand we even got a corner! Because of this special event, Girtje was the chosen back that could go to the front to try and score. The corner was taken. Girtje felt that this was her moment to shine. Utter focus was needed to kick the ball perfectly next to the keeper and into the net! 0-1!?

The opponents were not dangerous most of the time during the first half. Their most spectacular attack ended with their striker falling over Marloes. This resulted in her lying on the ground, while her shin and shoulder hurt.. Those were oddly specific injuries that were not even located close to one another… But oh well.. When she was finally able to stand up again, the referee just walked into her, causing her some extra pain. So nice ref! Great coordination.

Not long after that our beloved teammates, who joined the match of ladies 4 first, arrived. This meant that we got our keeper (Lien)back, that we gained Kaas and Christine as important substitutes and that Amado could finally stop flagging.

The first half ended and Amado actually seemed pretty flabbergasted. How can we tell you ask? Because he finished his half-time-talk before the referee came to get us out of the dressing room. THIS NEVER HAPPENS.

But man, did we get on Amado’s nerves the second half. We got so confident with our play of the first half, that we did not put in as much effort as we should. This resulted in Anouk almost kicking Christine’s head, Marloes lying on the ground, tripping the opponent and Lien deciding that she could not catch a ball anymore all of a sudden… This girl.. Lien, if you are reading this: you cost Amado three years of his life…

So.. you are probably wondering: did ladies 2 fuck up? The answer is: yes. Yes we did. We gave away three corners in a row.. the last of those resulted in a goal against. Luckily, we did not learn from our mistakes and we gave away even more corners. One of which Roggel tried to head away with her nose. Long story short: she bled, it was bad, Roggel sad.

But did we fuck up even further? YES OF COURSE! We gave Nieuw-Woensel too much space, which resulted in them scoring another goal.. Of course Amado did not lose his temper when this happened. Sidenote from the bench: he died from the inside when this happened.

Realising that we fucked up, we still tried to make something out of this. A deep ball was played towards Emma, who sprinted, passed the keeper and ALMOST, I shit you not, she almost ran the ball over the backline.. But luckily she didn’t. She kicked the ball into the goal! 2-2! The keeper cried…

Amado’s face went from eternal depression to “meh ?”. He was not a happy coach that day, he was not even a happy man, so we took him to the McDonalds and everything was still fucked up in his life.

The end.
Xoxo